No Thumb Twiddling for Me

What does a writer do while he is awaiting the arrival of a proof copy? Well, this one writes.

Book One in the Boathouse Mouse Series is on the way here for approval. Book Two in the Boathouse Mouse Series is on Shawna's easel being illustrated. Cheers for #BackToTheDrawingBoardArt
Book Three in the Boathouse Mouse Series is about half finished.

In the Falcon Series, Books One through Three are on the market. And Book Four is … intense. No spoilers here, but this book is making the hair on my neck stand up as I write it. It is an odd sensation, for sure. I am restricting my editor in residence, also known as my wife, from reading it until I can complete some parts. The last thing I need is for her to have trouble sleeping.

Actually, that's the second to last thing I need. The last thing I need is for her to cause me to have trouble sleeping.

There will be more posts about this book as it progresses. But I will likely not say much more about it until after the New Year, which is only twelve weeks away! Yikes! June will be upon us before we know it. I had best get back to my writing.

Thundering Silence

Waiting for a book to come in the mail is like being on a diet. You have to take it one day at a time. I'm sure you have all heard about that guy who went on the Weight Watcher's Diet plan and ate a month's worth in one week. He thought he was going to lose weight four times faster than scheduled. If only it worked like that.

It's the same thing with the mailbox. I can check it as many times a day as I want, but it will not bring the package any sooner. I just have to wait the prescribed number of days.

Staying busy helps. It keeps my overly-imaginative mind occupied with lesser tasks like work, mowing the lawn, eating, and so forth. Those things, however, are temporary remedies at best.

It's too bad the Postal Service does not put GPS trackers on each package. Then I could track the pings on some giant interactive global map, in real time. It would be even more awesome if I could upload a tiny Boathouse Mouse icon that would show up as the blinking light. Maybe he could even alternate pictures with a right foot forward then left foot forward. Although, that may be taking it one step too far.

Fantasy over. Back to reality.

I do have a tracking number. Sadly, the online Postal Tracking Service gizmo does not recognize it. Sigh. It is their own number, generated in their system. I'm not sure why they even bother.

Ultimately, I am relegated to a silent wait.

Sooner or later, without forewarning, we will find a package in the mailbox and it will be Boathouse Mouse.

When I think about it in those terms, it almost sounds like Boathouse is a ninja …

Boathouse Mouse Is Running a Little Late

Like a warm cup of coffee on a damp, cold morning … in the hands of a stranger!

I am exceedingly excited to announce that, A New Adventure, A New Name, Book 1 in The Adventures of Boathouse Mouse, looks amazing!
I am not so happy to share that we had a page spacing error that slipped by us in the digital format stage.

Unfortunately, it will be a few more days before Boathouse Mouse is available for purchase. We are so close. In fact, as you read this, the amended file is being uploaded and processed. Unless, of course, you are reading this later. If that was confusing you should check out my blog post about time portals. Welcome to Fantasy Island

We will get there. I kind of feel like a kid waking up with all the anticipation of Christmas Day only to discover it is actually Christmas Eve.
Stay tuned.

Happier Than a B Novel Writer Slinging Clichés Like Six-Shooters

Or, Why I Love a Good Cliché Now and Then.

As a general rule, clichés are taboo in novel writing. I don't have any experience in grant writing, but I suspect they are highly discouraged in that field as well. The reason behind not using clichés in novels is that a writer could get the reputation of lacking originality. The only reason I could imagine for not using them in grant proposals is that the writer would become an instant pariah in that field.

Overly using clichés may be a problem, but occasionally they can come in handy. You see, a cliché is simply an over-used metaphor. Whoever first said, “Avoid (fill in the blank) like the plague,” was a visionary. There was no ambiguity in that reference. No one ever wondered if the writer had a hidden meaning. It was pure genius. Now it's been repeated so much, if you were to write it into a book, every single reader would mentally shish-kabob you. And everyone knows, that's not nice.

When is a cliché a good thing? It may not actually be good, but it can sure be handy. Sometimes you just need an instant shortcut into the corporate understanding of all your readers. A cliché can fulfill that task. With the application of one conveniently placed cliché, a point can be made. Clarity is gained in the familiar.

So, you may be wondering why I don't use clichés in my books. I would tell you, but then I would have to …
And everyone followed that to its corny conclusion. It's amusing because we all see it coming. It's like the Keystone Cops. The humor is in their predictability.

I like humor. I like predictability sometimes. But I really, really like a twist. I like a twist that's so well made, it makes my brain do a four-wheel drift around a plot turn. (That's a racing metaphor, not a cliché yet.) And I don't care who you are, you can't write plot twists in comfortable clichés.

By now you are wondering what my main point is. I was actually just in a mood for clichés … and puns. Puns are the hillbilly cousin of clichés. I also slipped a little plot twist in there, which amused the daylights out of me. I hope it was entertaining for you as well.

In other news, I should have a copy of Boathouse Mouse: A New Adventure, A New Name very soon!
Please stay tuned.

Better Than Chocolate Pizza

Got this message on Facebook yesterday! Now that's a great way to make my day!