I Missed the Civil War

I guess I should be outraged. After a recent road trip that took in half of the USA, I have exactly zero seconds of inflammatory video to share on Facebook. With the current volatile condition of our country, I should have so much footage that a substantial edit would be necessary. But I have nothing! Zero is a small number. How will I ever get a viral post like this? Why do the big news outlets get all the breaks?

The entire situation should have been the perfect set-up. The country had been primed and the conditions were ideal for a riot. We traveled through many states and saw all the predictable bad drivers doing dumb stuff on the highway. The result was … nothing.

At one point it was over 100º and no one was loving it. We stopped for fuel at a busy truck stop and I thought surely someone would snap and the facade of peace would vaporize.

The place was teeming with every kind of biped imaginable. With a quick survey of the peevish masses, I noted that every skin tone was present. The array of automobiles ranged from a rusted-out K-car to a shiny Lexus SUV. Every economic class was represented. And everyone was in a hurry. I knew it was a Molotov cocktail of humanity. I had my camera at the ready.

A COEXIST Subaru plastered with “Bernie” stickers pulled up beside a redneck truck with oversized tires and Stars and Bars emblazoned across the back window. As they fueled their respective vehicles, I waited for … nothing.

There was at least one Muslim wearing one of those headwrap things and a truck driver with obvious gender identity issues. Nothing.

A woman with white skin held the door for a black-skinned family, and the black woman in turn held the door for me. I held the door for the next person, and that seemed to perpetuate until … nothing.

Beautiful and ugly, smelly and clean, rich and poor, black and white, cops and civilians, old and young, we all used the same amenities and no one even so much as made a snide comment about someone else. In fact, most people amicably greeted their fellow humans as if the personal interlude from the isolation of their car was a relief. They had to all be faking it! I have seen “The News!”

Against all odds, that trend continued across state lines, over the mountains, across the plains, daytime, nighttime, and even in the big cities. It was as if everyone was conspiring against me to deprive me of my moment of glory. I thought, “How am I ever going to video a riot with all these people being polite to each other?”

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY? Don't these people know they are supposed to be at war with each other? Why are they going around as if they have normal lives to live?

Then it struck me. If you want to get a front-row video of a riot, you have to start your own! I would even bet there is a huge financial benefit for such a thing.

But that seems really impolite. I'm sure Miss Manners would not approve of that. And it surely doesn't line up with the teachings of Jesus about loving your neighbors and even praying for those who mistreat you.

So with my profit potential devastated and my visions of fame dashed to the curb, I plot my revenge. If they're going to be like that, I'll show them!
I'll reach out to my neighbors and coworkers with respect and do what I can to maintain their dignity. I'll go to the source, and call out injustice when I see it. I'll not fan anyone's flames of hate or fear, even if that means “news” sources lose revenue. I'll not explode over half-true inflammatory Facebook posts. And I refuse to live in fear of people with a different skin color than my own.

I'm sure this will not fix all the problems in the world. There will always be people who mistreat others. Those situations obviously need to be resolved one at a time. But maybe, just maybe, it will stir up some peace somewhere.

The Cat Is Out of the Bag

Yes, folks, you read that right, The Cat and the River Thames is now available! This is Book 2 in the Adventures of Boathouse Mouse, and you don't want to miss it.

“So tell us where we can get our copy already!”

Oh, yes, that. The Cat and the River Thames is available through Amazon.
Shawna and I both have copies to sell. And you might want to stay tuned for further retail developments.

LIST $10.49   INTENDED AUDIENCE: 5-11 YEARS
The Cat and the River Thames
BY RV HODGE
ISBN 978-0997553703

The Wedding Crasher

Like a child on Christmas morning, he had vast expectations. But, alas, he didn't know those dreams were destined to be dashed to pieces on the curb of disappointment.

The wedding was a modest affair, held on a public beach with a small handful of people present. The young couple was excited to be officially beginning their life together, and the agenda was very relaxed. All that created the perfect opportunity for a wedding crasher to drop in. And that is what he did.

He showed up at first with some small talk and was probably more than a little under the influence already. We were preoccupied and did not notice the persistent hovering in the distance as the brief ceremony progressed. When the eleven of us gathered around the picnic table for sandwiches, the crasher made his move.

He invited himself to some cake, which was yet to be iced or cut. We offered him real food, but he declined. Once the cake was cut, someone took him a slice, and that was to be the end of it. Except it was not the end of it. A few minutes later, he returned and said, in so many words, that we had breached a hospitality protocol.

It turned out that the poor man was parched!

As we recognized our faux pas, my dear wife reached for the two pitchers and offered the fellow a drink of his choice. And that's where his expectations got shattered.

Evidently, earlier in the morning, his imbibing had been interrupted by the local beat officer who made him pour out his “drink.” It turns out that certain spirits are not permitted on the public beach, either by local ordinance, or park code, or something.

So the poor man, recognizing he was dangerously close to sobriety, spotted a wedding going down. He took prompt action and it might have actually worked, except for one problem. We had only water and lemonade.

When offered those choices, his amicable antics dissolved. Coldly refusing either choice, he stalked off. He looked as offended as a ten-year-old unwrapping a corncob at Christmas.

I don't know if there is a moral to this story, but the irony certainly had a high amusement value to me.

The Well Paved Road

We are not all intended to travel that proverbial well-paved road through life. In fact, some people do not travel well on those ultra-smooth, perfectly banked speedways. Those folks are certainly the minority, but they are bound to take the lesser roads, the roads that have long stretches of gravel, steep hills, and fewer amenities. The thing is, it suits them and they are happy.

Then there is that fringe element, such as myself, who only fit into that Awkward Few category. We are destined to take the rugged goat trails through the mountains of adversity in our life adventures. We tend to eschew conventional comforts and embrace the peculiar challenges of daily living on the edge of disaster.

Those are metaphorical descriptors, of course, of life choices in general, and the way we approach our work and home in particular. I assume you all caught that. But this is not intended to be a deeply philosophical or spiritual treatise.

This is actually an introduction. An introduction to the next generation of Hodges that have chosen the path of adventure over convention. The funny thing about a life of adventure is, there is no map. You get to make it up as you go. The down side is, there is no map, you have to make it up as you go.

So I welcome my son, Josiah, and his daring bride, McKinley, into the uncharted world of ad-libbed life. They are starting out today on the road as musicians/performers. They will be busking around the country this summer. To my "Dad sense," it's a little nerve-wracking. But to my sense of adventure, it is exhilarating.

So I invite you to share in their adventures. They can be found on Facebook at the following link:

Josiah and McKinley Hodge

3 - 2 - 1 - We Have Ignition

Wrath of the Falcon has launched!

How's that for a double metaphor? 

Okay, getting back to business. Wrath of the Falcon is in print and is now released on Amazon. It is also available to order through your local book retailer. If you are in my neck of the woods, you can get a copy through me.

And ... if you are in the "way up north" country, you can get a copy of Wrath of the Falcon or any of my other titles at the Cook Timber Days Festival! Yes, folks, you read that right. If you happen to be in the vicinity of Cook, Minnesota, on the weekend of June 10 - 12, you can purchase any of my titles at the Timber Days celebration.