Love at First Sight

The legends, the myths, the fairy tales … “they're true, all of them.”*

I really just wanted to plagiarize that line into a blog, and Valentine's Day seemed like the perfect day for it. The truth is, I'm one of those people who is not impressed by public displays of affection as proof of love, not even mega weddings. Those things are not indicative of “true love.” Valentine's Day is, however, a fantastic marketing scheme. Just yesterday, I saw a young man in a frenzied rush to purchase an enormous teddy bear and a big bunch of flowers. Poor fellow, he fell for it.

I wish I could, in clear conscience, persuade mass audiences that the proper way to prove true love would be to buy my books for their significant other. I can see it now:

Him: “Darling, will you marry me?”
Her: “Well, that nineteen carat diamond ring is cute, but since you bought me Blood Trail of the Falcon, I know you will love me forever! Yes! Of course I'll marry you! You are such a hopeless romantic!”
Epilogue: And they lived happily ever after.

Fantasy over. That conscience thing can be a real killjoy for brilliant ideas like that.

What does impress me is people who have stuck together through thick and thin. Relationships that endure financial struggles, sickness, and adversity are the real deal. In my world view, the notion of “love-at-first-sight” is a bunch of nonsense. True devotion takes time to develop.

At least that was how I felt until I met “her.”

It all changed in one instant. I could not have been more in love than I was at that first glimpse of “her!” She was beautiful and precious beyond description. I was instantly devoted and willing to lay down my life for her. And that feeling has never lessened. The only complication is that she lives in a different state than me.

And just when I thought it could not get any better, it happened again. Yes, my second granddaughter was born this past week. That doubles the love!

There is no describing the love of a grandparent. The funny thing is, I did not see it coming. I was blindsided. That does not happen all that often. Being a grandfather is amazing. If there were not other ridiculous distractions in life like paying bills and keeping the car from falling apart, it would be easy to become obsessed with just being grandpa and spoiling my grandkids. That said, no doubt it is a good thing that I have other life responsibilities so the grandkids can have some balance in their life also.

I guess I have managed to come full circle. As a grandparent, the legends, the myths, the fairy tales of love at first sight … “they're true, all of them.”*

Happy Valentine's Day.

*Han Solo, from Episode VII, Star Wars. (By the way, this footnote makes it not plagiarism.)

How to Offend Everyone in the Western Hemisphere at the Same Time

I don't care about Super Bowl 50. In fact, the most interesting part of the whole event is that they ditched the Roman numeral “L” for the Arabic numeral “50.” I could go off on a couple of tangential rants about reaching down to the lowest intellectual denominator in marketing, or the renaming of the numeric system to “European numerals,” but I digress.

Back to my objective of offending everyone in one fell swoop.

The game was played in Pasadena, California, that day, and maybe it was just too hot. Or, maybe they all had an off day at an inopportune time. But I sort of fell out of love with the Super Bowl at XI.

Yep, it's been a while. As I recall, it was a cold day in January of 1977 in the far reaches of northern Minnesota where we lived in a tiny cabin. That is a safe memory, because it is always cold up there in January.

By that time, I was a winter veteran. It was the middle of our second winter in that extreme climate, and my newly adopted state had a football team that bore its name. That, of course, would be the Minnesota Vikings. That season, the Vikings played football like, well, like Vikings. They seemed unstoppable. I, along with the rest of my family, sat and watched Super Bowl XI with great anticipation. And, like many people with misplaced expectation, I was devastated by the loss.

What had bothered me the most was the pathetic performance that my mighty Vikings had put out. That was the first time in my life I suspected sporting events may be rigged. Those Vikings, who had played like Vikings all season, played the Super Bowl like cheerleaders.

Before you think I'm picking on the cheerleaders, let me set this straight. When the ball flies into the vicinity of the cheerleaders, it is their responsibility to get out of the way! A two hundred twenty pound linebacker could come blasting through, and cheerleaders do not wear safety gear.

Sadly, I got the impression that my mighty Vikings had become allergic to the ball.

In retrospect, I had obviously never considered that the Oakland Raiders might have had a superior game. I was pretty one-dimensional in my loyalty back then. In my own defense, I was in my teens. But it matters not now. The immunization was complete. I was doused in the ice water of disillusionment and just basically lost interest. I do not recall watching a complete football game since then.

All that said, there is an amusing side to the event hype this year. Facebook, which is always loaded with pictures of cats and horses, is currently all about cats vs. horses. It's like a competitive NFL zodiac chart.

Who knows, maybe next year they will allow international teams to compete. Then we could potentially end up with Super Bowl LI: Pandas vs. Koalas. If that should happen, I might actually come out of sports hibernation to watch that one.

When the Internet is Smarter Than Me

I posted a blog last Sunday and, because the internet is considerably smarter than me, you probably missed it.

You see, I titled the blog boathousemouse.com, and the ingenious technology that makes all this stuff talk back and forth instantly said,"Ta-Da! Here you are at your destination!" But it slipped right past the blog.

So, let's try this again: 

I am reasonably certain that most of you have been losing sleep wondering when boathousemouse.com would become a live entity. Well, I'm happy to report that you can sleep easy now.

Yes, my friends, boathousemouse.com is now in action. Actually, it is currently just a link to the page in my website that has the first book. Just as an aside, that page will have Book 2 very soon.

But the LTPZCWD, or Long Term Planning and Zoning Commission for Web Development, for short, has a big vision for that link. It's a committee of one. Me.

My plan is to put up a map to track the travels of Boathouse Mouse. There will be some interactive trivia questions about places Boathouse visits. (Don't tell the kids, but they will accidentally be learning stuff.) There will be a recipe box so the readers can experience all the wonderful, and some less wonderful, foods Boathouse tastes as he travels the world over. And, there will be a scrapbook so the readers can submit photos of Boathouse Mouse in cool locations all around the world!

I have a few more ideas that will be integrated into that page, but, I don't currently know how to do the tech part of them yet. We will just have to be satisfied with one step at a time.

So, try the link. Let me know if there are any problems with connectivity. And get ready for Book 2.

boathousemouse.com

I am reasonably certain that most of you have been losing sleep wondering when boathousemouse.com would become a live entity. Well, I'm happy to report that you can sleep easy now.

Yes, my friends, boathousemouse.com is now in action. Actually, it is currently just a link to the page in my website that has the first book. Just as an aside, that page will have Book 2 very soon.

But the LTPZCWD, or Long Term Planning and Zoning Commission for Web Development, for short, has a big vision for that link. It's a committee of one. Me.

My plan is to put up a map to track the travels of Boathouse Mouse. There will be some interactive trivia questions about places Boathouse visits. (Don't tell the kids, but they will accidentally be learning stuff.) There will be a recipe box so the readers can experience all the wonderful, and some less wonderful, foods Boathouse tastes as he travels the world over. And, there will be a scrapbook so the readers can submit photos of Boathouse Mouse in cool locations all around the world!

I have a few more ideas that will be integrated into that page, but, I don't currently know how to do the tech part of them yet. We will just have to be satisfied with one step at a time.

So, try the link. Let me know if there are any problems with connectivity. And get ready for Book 2.

The Certainty of Uncertainty

Death and Taxes are the two subjects that always come up when the topic of certainty is introduced. And while I know it is appointed for each of us to die, the taxes thing is somewhat subjective, although it seems to be a persistent bane.

But I suggest to you that there is another certainty in life, and that is the sense of uncertainty. As a writer, I experience this all the time. For a long time I was afraid to let anyone read my first book because I was uncertain of their reactions. That was a bit of a paradox since I wrote it as a college graduation gift for my oldest daughter. When graduation day came, I had that moment of truth: I had to accept that she would like it or not.

Now my writing uncertainty comes in a binder full of categories. How should I market this series? Should I be spending my time on this book or that? Is this turn of phrase a stroke of brilliance, or an act of blind idiocy? And the subject tabs in the uncertainty binder go on and on.

This may seem to be a random muse, but it is not. This is actually a motivational prod for all my artistic friends. If you have a story to write, write it! If you have a picture to paint, paint it! If you have a song to compose, compose it! (I guess that's what you do with songs.) Anyway, don't let uncertainty hold you back. It is okay if you are the only one who is satisfied with it. You will almost certainly be uncertain about it forever. Just keep moving forward.

Today is day 17 of the year 2016. If you have a creative goal for this year, and have not yet begun, jump! Go now! Put something on paper, or canvas, or fabric, or electrons, or something!

In advance, you're welcome!