I have never felt like I fit in. Not in school, not in work, not in any place I've ever lived, and not even at any job I've had. I guess I am a genuine misfit.
In kindergarten, when all the kids were happily running about the playground being kids, I stood off to the side just out of vocal range of the teacher. From my position of relative isolation, I happily observed all the human children playing. It was a great time of data collecting. Humans are a peculiar species.
I knew back then that I did not fit in and I even cried when I had to stay for kindergarten lunch. When all the other kids would be excited for the big event, I hid behind the door until the tears dried. Only then would I enter that big room with all the other kids.
So much for kindergarten nostalgia.
My parents always pretended that we were indigenous to this planet. But in my later years, I've suspected that was a cover story. Maybe they just wanted us to blend in. Or maybe they were refugees from a troubled galaxy. Maybe even it was a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. Sorry, I couldn't resist that one. The sad truth is, blending in has not worked out so well.
Despite all that, I do enjoy one hobby that is common among normal people on this planet. I like coffee. There is only one problem with coffee and me. Coffee does not wake me up, it relaxes me. In fact, I can fall asleep drinking coffee. I do so often. The only time it has ever awakened me was when I spilled hot coffee on myself as I dozed off in the car.
No, I was not driving at the time.
So, if you ever find yourself nodding off with a cup of coffee in your hands … there is some chance we came from the same planet.